It's not whether you win or lose,
But how you place the blame.

You are not drunk
If you can lie on the floor without holding on.

The original point and click interface
Was a Smith & Wesson.

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Learn from your parents' mistakes
use birth control.

Money isn't everything,
But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don't Drink and Drive.
You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't succeed
Skydiving is not for you

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
Give the rest a bad name.

Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi!

Artificial intelligence is no
match for natural stupidity.

The latest survey shows that
Three out of four people make
Up 75% of the population.

Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers,
so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.